you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Girls should come with a carfax report
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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