Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
