Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
