I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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