My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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