who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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