So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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