after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
