We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
