are you still at the devil's house?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
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When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
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You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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