Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
