i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
