Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
