pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
