i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He told me they were just razor bumps!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
