I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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