I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
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Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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