There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
