Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Oh god it's open bar.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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