okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize