Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
