Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think people are normalizing furries
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
