Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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