he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
