I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
