i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Farmville is her only friend.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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