I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
