Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
