seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
