Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
