apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
