Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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