I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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