when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
