let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize