Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
