just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
