after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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