Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."

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  (440): Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect." http://tfl.nu/c4jw
  Replies (130) Good night (1981) Bad night (434)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?

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  (615): Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN? http://tfl.nu/nemo
  Replies (9) Good night (2980) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.

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  (804): I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay. http://tfl.nu/7iul
  Replies (17) Good night (7975) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.

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  (440): So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles. http://tfl.nu/gk4i
  Replies (12) Good night (7223) Bad night (710)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

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  (773): well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it. http://tfl.nu/vp9s
  Replies (19) Good night (5916) Bad night (976)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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  (469): I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over. http://tfl.nu/vab8
  Replies (13) Good night (831) Bad night (3849) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.

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  (415): She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer. http://tfl.nu/gibc
  Replies (34) Good night (5467) Bad night (1021)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...

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  (786): It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries... http://tfl.nu/iebn
  Replies (11) Good night (1907) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?

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  (219): How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year? http://tfl.nu/u8i3
  Replies (10) Good night (2416) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes

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  (501): I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes http://tfl.nu/3ixk
  Replies (10) Good night (604) Bad night (1129) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself

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  (231): Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself http://tfl.nu/7j3v
  Replies (4) Good night (802) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.

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  (419): Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in. http://tfl.nu/ss55
  Replies (14) Good night (1462) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.

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  (360): All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower. http://tfl.nu/z2xv
  Replies (15) Good night (1394) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits

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  (506): there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits http://tfl.nu/dkmo
  Replies (4) Good night (555) Bad night (1029) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area

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  (612): He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area http://tfl.nu/q3t9
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt

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