Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
