I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Found the puke drawer
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
