he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
