im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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