If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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