Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
