The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just had sex bonerless
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
