all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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