They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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