I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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