Sponge bath it is.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
