Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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