Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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