my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
