You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
