Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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