Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
