I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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